Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
