"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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