Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
