Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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