So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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