I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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