Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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