i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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