I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize