so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
