She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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