I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
