hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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