I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
