I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
