I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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