My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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