im about as happy as oj after his trial
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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