I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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