i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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