I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
