Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
