oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
