D3 body, D1 cock
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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