so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize