Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
