You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
