Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize