You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
