That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
