Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
