I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
