I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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