I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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