His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
