can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
