I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize