Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
