Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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