I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
