just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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