3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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