do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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