so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
