Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
