Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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