It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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