Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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