the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
