Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
