sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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