She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
