I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Acid is not a monday night drug
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
