just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
