Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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