so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
