Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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