Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Every concussion has its silver lining
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
