I hate your face
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
