I haven't been this sober since birth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
