i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
