Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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