the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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