But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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